Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Like A (Security) Blanket

I was excited to be able to sit down at my computer today in anticipation, knowing I'd be visiting my blog, getting some of these thoughts out that have been banging around in my abnormally tiny skull the last few months. (Although, this type of musing is happening less frequently, I think my mind really does get affected by my health, or by life in general in all it's crazy.)

On that note, it's already almost June 2014, and I am amazed at the continued grace The Lord pours forth abundantly!!

My Husband continues to lead our family, and I continue to try to let him without some sort of crack.  I've realized that much of our marital problems emerge when I open my mouth before thinking. (duh right?)  My personality will never change, but by The Power of The Holy Spirit my strengths could be used for building up, instead of the opposite.  As an A type control freak, I've really been focusing on letting go and letting God. I need not be concerned with the future, I need only be concerned with the tasks I face TODAY.

I was reflecting on the meaning of happiness, and happened upon a fun poll online which asked, "Are Single People Happier Or Are Married People Happier?" The obvious answer came from people, but I had a different perspective altogether.

In my case, my relationship status had no influence on whether I was happy or not. In my life, I've always known about Jesus, and once actually KNOWing him personally, he is the only source of happiness that is truly fulfilling and all I have ever needed. I am thankful for the childhood which pointed me to Christ, and even more so I am grateful that he chose me and made me His. I hope my children learn this. I hope they don't seek after success according to this world. I hope each of them serve The Lord fully and completely, but I also understand that God in His Sovereign grace has already ordained their lives, and HE will be glorified and justice will be done. I know I repeat myself, but it's just so amazing to comprehend this eternal truth, and I am sustained in it, immersed deeply.

My husband thanked me today.

This is actually big news because he's not big on encouraging words, which I lap up like a starving hog. He had a business decision, and in the past I have been quick to give an opinion, but was understood by my spouse more like barking orders, yappy actually, which did damage to our unity. My husband is rich in forgiveness, so when he asked me another life changing question recently I asked him to allow me to have time to think and pray, because I didn't want to fall into the same pattern as times before. This was completely against my character of course. I do know what I know well, and I'm usually eager to share it. (Nothing wrong with being confident right?) But my precious Saviour spoke to my heart.


Wait on His wisdom.

Rest in His love.

Cling to His feet.

Sleep under His wings. 

Submitting to the headship of my husband and my King brought so much comfort to me! I kind of kicked myself it took this long for me to realize it! Ever try to kick your own bum? Attractive. No, not really.

As it turned out, after I sought the Lord, then shared with my husband my thoughts, I didn't feel like I was undermining his leadership, or casting his dreams aside. And neither did he.  He weighed my words with what He himself has been praying about, and his path became crystal clear to him.

'You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’ - Acts 2:28

'Our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.' - Psalm 32:21

'These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.' - John 16:33

I am in awe of God.

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