Like Shakespeare

Ever been betrayed?

I bet you have.  I bet someone promised you something but then after a while they either forgot that vow or minimized it, or denied it entirely.  Life changes, feelings deplete, bitterness grows until finally someone gives in to their self.  It may take years, or only a few minutes.  Linguists, Musicians, Producers of Film; pretty evident that all agree betrayal is by far the worst human act besides murder.  Having ones confidence shattered takes a moment to realize and sometimes a lifetime to heal from.  A person may never return from the reality of unfaithfulness on an intellectual level.

I have been betrayed.

I have had people affirm their love for me, guarantee their loyalty to me or a cause/person I belong to/love only to have them bail at the first sign of trouble.

Trouble comes in all forms.

The worst is the small lie.

God hates liars, and I understand why. Proverbs 6:16-19 states 'Seven things The Almighty Hates', characteristics of Satan himself.  Because God can do no wrong, a person should take pause before deliberately choosing to carry one or more of these attributes out. Sometimes the defense of the small lie takes over which snowballs into an avalanche of attacks that otherwise would have been avoided if the individual stopped thinking about self.  Self righteousness must lead to these 7 things, or what the Bible warns about is inaccurate.

Am I saying I don't lie?  No.  Am I saying I've never once responded to another human being with a hateful heart?  Certainly not.

I am scum, period.

As I grow in the knowledge of The Word of God His Spirit reveals more and more of my total depravity...a light shone in darkness exposes what's there.  I am truly thankful my sin is shown to me in bits and pieces, I think if I saw how I really am my mind could not process it.  Somewhere a part of me thinks I am not as bad as that person shooting heroine, or that prostitute turning tricks for the next hit, or the CEO selling out an employee for a bigger paycheck.  Honestly, I am as bad or worse than these examples.  I betrayed my God by being born into a cursed world that denies it's Designer.

Psalm 51

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.

I have promised myself to another, but did not keep that covenant. I promised my heart to Jesus the day I was baptized, but after a rough time hated the idea of Church which ironically is the manifestation of the expression of the Love I dedicated myself to.  I thought my life was to be lived by me and I was doing a good job because I read my bible almost every day, but soon found out my existence is for His glory alone, what a wonderful realization!  A gift from my Heavenly Father, one that remains hidden until Jesus Christ is known.

Using my marriage as an example there has been many times I wanted to walk away because I didn't want to humble myself and see my sin.  If The Lord had allowed it, I'd be alone, and even though I would be fine ultimately God ordained that I should be in this earthy relationship, one that goes against my nature, and though very trying it has caused me to be closer to my Saviour Jesus Christ.  My husband, however wonderful he is, can not fulfill my need: the sanctification of my soul.  Spouse fills my earthly desires, most of the time.  He works very hard at keeping me happy; necklaces snap, houses wear out and need to be repaired, cars break down, kids cause stress, bills pile up, flowers die....all these which are related to a tangible world mean nothing when compared to Eternity.

I love my kids.  I like my clothes, my vehicle...all the creature comforts belonging to a Canadian gals life.

Christ Jesus overshadows all of these.

Proverbs 12:22 I know Christ Jesus keeps his word and enables me to keep mine as long as I continue to gaze Heaven word and not inward.  I can not serve myself and Christ.  I can not focus on the desires of my heart and expect The Holy Spirit to fight for space.

I am consumed by God's mercy and grace and pray He continues to pour His Word and Spirit out onto His people with the generosity only He can.  I understand the lessons God has taught me thus far is to remain ready, be diligent and intentional when serving His Will and keep watch on my own heart, guarding it against the ssslick sssmart foe who detests Yahweh most of all.

It is humbling to appreciate the fact that my heart can be hardened at any time to betray my beautiful Creator, and lie to his people.

His Will.

Not mine.

May it be Lord!  May it be!