Can you believe that?
As I reflect on the past year I can't help but think of the wonderful gift and freedom which comes from knowing Jesus Christ. I recall being convicted of 'Just Being' me, and that has carried me through changes in my life since I wrote that post, relying on my Saviour and His Grace and Power and Wisdom alone. It's been a challenging battle to say the least, but victory has been achieved at the cross!
What hope we have, dear Christan. <3
Our family sat around the table on New Years Eve discussing our yays and nays about the past year and predictions for 2015. The biggest impact on me as a Mother was that each child expressed a desire to do something fun as a family. A few were thinking of individual goals but ultimately, my kids enjoy each others company. That IS a huge blessing. I think it is the harvest of being at home together, with parents who decline involvement in our kids wars with one another. We are eager to encourage them to 'figure things out' removing ourselves from the conflict because neither of us signed up to be referees!! Equipping our children to come to terms with one another and work through the bullshit has been worth every second of our 'non effort'. I know this will only be a short term solution, because as Spouse and I learn and grow as followers of Christ and our parenting reflects this, in turn our children will grow and need less parenting and more Jesus!
I do pray each of them comes to know Our Saviour personally and that they always tend to their sibling relationships. I also know that in an instant things can change and people can grow apart and those who once played, laughed, loved, learned and lived together, end up enemies. To tear families apart is Satan's will, but even that falls under GOD'S Sovereignty.
As a Mother, it does fill my heart with gratitude to picture my family now, as it is today. My oldest will be perusing more independence as he will get his drivers permit this year. (It's a few months off, but as 2014 and prior has proven, it flies by.) Our second oldest is continuing on with his theatrical education, piano and voice lessons and as his wings spread, we will do our best to fan a strong wind for him.
I ambitiously decided we're learning Spanish this year, and even though I have a full time job, a part time job and a stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom job, I think as long as I wait upon the Lord, He will make our path straight in His time. This knowledge is a result of Christ's imputed wisdom.
It is a sweet companion when sourced from our Creator. Otherwise I believe wisdom can become stale and artificial, always tainted by our sin because no one but Christ is sinless, no matter the book, Scripture excepted.
It is easy for me to dismiss a famous author/person as it is to sneeze, I place no man in an authority position meant only for Jesus Christ. That being said, I struggle with submission unto my husband as the head of my home, and we are slowly learning what that truly means as a couple, individually and together. My husband endeavors to lead, us to follow, and so for the two of us, simple prayer with reliance on The Lord has helped and supported us to endure whatever may pass and grow stronger in our faith and our commitment to this marriage even more.
There is no such thing as a perfect life.
If you think I have it all, then I apologize because it is never my intent to make you think my life is full of roses and sunshine and bbq's and happiness. There are bits and pieces, glimpses of these things we refer to as 'joy' mixed in no doubt, but to be honest the natural part of me still reels back and would flee in an instant if it weren't for the chains of the cross binding me to this life God called me to live. Wisdom has brought me to this knowledge, along with grace and mercy from The Father.
Wisdom is that soft whisper through the loudest of activities, and the boldest when we take the time to sit in the quiet lost in deep thought and The Word. True God-breathed wisdom is attainable and abundant, like an overflowing river always at hand. It's the healing salve of wounded hearts and minds. It brings grey hair. (Or so I'm told.)
We wrestled with the idea of putting our children in school now that I am running my own business from home plus helping run my Husband's. It was getting very difficult for me as the demand of my time increased ten fold in a few short months. I was concerned that my children would 'feel' neglected to a certain degree, because now they had to share me. With my husband's help I have realized that no matter what I am doing, this is what God has designed perfectly for me, my Spouse and my family, and as soon as I lose sight of His awesome power, that is when I falter and worry and fear seeps in.
My husband is pleased with the kids progress educationally bless his kind heart, and yes they aren't high achievers in an academic sense, but they have incredible gifts and talents in other areas that a public setting could not cultivate. We will continue to struggle with this, but I will continue to follow my husband's lead, however weak an attempt.
So this year, I will try my hardest to do whatever I am called to, and take it day by day, knowing that things change but it is always good and was indeed planned by our great and Wonderful God before the foundations of the earth.