The older I get, the faster the days/weeks/months/years seem to pass, building momentum to my inevitable death. Yippee! As each day approaches, I remind myself to look back at the end of it, this helps me to maintain my sanity.
What did I focus on?
What did I want to accomplish when I woke up?
What did I desire God to accomplish in me? What did I ask Him for?
What actually happened?
I joke about surviving this life, but that is precisely what I am doing. On one hand, I wouldn't trade my role or this Season I am in right now for anything...on the other, GET.ME.OUT.OF.HERE!!!. (Please God!)
I love this career, my family, my friends, and the daily struggles that come my way. Some I love less, but it is all from my Heavenly Father, so how could it be bad? Even the stuff that reveals the sin I need to kill, that is good, because I am not sanctified yet, and knowing it is My Lord who is healing me from my flesh is comforting. His power is astounding!
At the beginning of this Summer Holiday I had so many ideas and plans: family vacations and day trips....finally we would be able to do something as Us, instead of waiting another year because money/time/life didn't allow for us to be able to go very far. (Not fun to travel with babies, and since we did four in very quick succession babies were the only thing taking up my head space for a while.)
But.
Funny thing is, I prepared, but then life happened. Husband got busy with more work, kids were invited to various events, one including a boat; sleepovers; our littlest dog broke his leg....all these happened and before I knew it, I am into the week before School starts back up again.
If I was American, I would be behind already!
However, I am not worried because I culled a lot of my books over the Summer, amazing what man centered crap I had been using that I didn't realize was in fact anti Christ until God opened my eyes to it. I took any free moment I had these past few months to really write out what my goals are with our kids education wise. My Darling Hunk is a huge help and support and excellent with spreadsheets, where I could care less, but his talent and leadership have been so comforting to me.
This is the first school year I feel adequately prepared, and by the end of this year Lord Willing I will have my oldest ready for High School. Originally I had planned on homeschooling him all the way through to graduation, but the resources I have at my fingertips are incredible, and the school district I live in offers scholarships into higher education and honestly it would be irresponsible of me to pass that up. My son is excited to work toward a goal, which keeps things positive all around. Does this mean I don't support homeschooling through high school? Nope. I may with other children, as they grow and mature I will be able to tell what their specific needs and learning methods are, not one individual is the same. I can not expect all my children to fit in the same box, this is unreasonable and foolish. Husband and I realize that each child is unique, and as they change and form, we must be intentional and diligent to observe and adapt to this challenge as parents. My oldest will be 13 next month, but he is nearly ready to face the wolves out there in that big nasty world. Some may be ready at a younger age. Others, well, who knows. I want my children to be dependent on God alone, but until He gives them a New Will I must be content with them being independent.
Do I have all the answers? Nope. I do not expect anyone to follow my advice, only to follow where their inner voice is calling them.
Life is a journey.
You can either fight it the whole way or enjoy the ride because the path you walk is not yours to choose.
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