In My Opinion.

I have destructive hands.

If I do it my way, on my understanding and my ability, what I undertake usually blows up in my face. This is not just a Rebel issue. Coming to terms with this, that I can do nothing but mess things up, is a hard pill to swallow. But learning this I am, and the Lord is certainly showing Love to me through this lesson.

I want to fix things.

I want others to fix things.

But I can not rush the process that The Creator has already put into place.

I can do nothing to change the out come of my life.

Sign, sealed and delivered baby.

This process I am in the middle of, is mostly painful. Oh, there are a few joyful moments, in fact if I strip the worldliness away I CAN count it all Joy. James 1:2. Notice it says when, not IF. I smile at this. There will be trials of many kinds people. This is good.
I want to rush the process, I want to see the end result, the finished work, the accomplishment. I see this in my own work ethic. I do it until the task is completed, and then I pat myself on the back for a job well done. I praise God for my ability, but I still congratulate myself on my efforts.

Because I am human.

This will not change completely.

I am stuck in this flesh until my Saviour rescues me by death or by returning in His glory.

That is where kindness and goodness should come into my vocabulary.

First, lets look at what man defines kindness and goodness as:

Main Entry:	kindness
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	compassion, generosity
Synonyms:	affection, altruism, amiability, beneficence, benevolence, charity, clemency, consideration, cordiality, courtesy, decency, delicacy, fellow feeling, forbearance, gentleness, good intention , good will, goodness, grace, graciousness, heart, helpfulness, hospitality, humanity, indulgence, kindliness, magnanimity, mildness, patience, philanthropy, serviceability, solicitousness, solicitude, sweetness, sympathy, tact, tenderness, thoughtfulness, tolerance, understanding, unselfishness
Antonyms:	cruelty, harshness, meanness

Main Entry:	goodness
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	decency, excellence
Synonyms:	advantage, beneficence, benefit, benevolence, ethicality, friendliness, generosity, good will, grace, graciousness, honesty, honor, humaneness, integrity, kindheartedness, kindliness, kindness, mercy, merit, morality, nourishment, obligingness, probity, quality, rectitude, righteousness, rightness, superiority, uprightness, value, virtue, wholesomeness, worth
Antonyms:	evil, indecency, meanness, wickedness

I've always heard, "Oh, I wasn't gifted with patience kindness gentleness etc..." in fact I've used the very same excuse myself. This series I've had the privilege to learn about Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Gentleness Self-Control has been extremely helpful in putting right the perspective of Christian Fruit.

Being kind to another person necessarily assumes that person is in need of kindness, I.E. they're pitiful creatures that are weak.

Yep. that's me.

On a personal note, self control played a major part in when I quit smoking. I still have an urge once in a while to bum a smoke off someone because the smell still gets my tongue watering. Non-smokers can not understand this craving, as I can not understand someone's addiction to something else which I have no struggle with. But it does take all my strength to remind myself why I quit in the first place, and to rely on The Lord for the strength to say no to my urges.

Giving 'my right' over to God made quitting easy, but not less painful.

However, it was a triumph done by God in my life, and I continue to be thankful He got me through it.

(And continues to help me at trying times to not ask for one.)

This brings me about to where I do not show gentleness to family members who still struggle with smoking. I struggle with grace towards them because I think, "God helped me, what's the matter with you?" I could definitely be more gentle, in fact, I have learned to not comment when one of them lights up after they have quit a few weeks before....instead, I pray silently that they would give themselves over to God, and that He is doing work where He sees fit.

It takes practice for me to be kind, and gentle, patient and good. But practice it I shall.

I will slowly wean myself off of this blog, using it less and less until I completely delete it.

Who knows.

This different gal is more normal than you think.