When I thought I was saved, born again, converted, living my life out for God, for Gods glory, and so very thankful that Jesus died for my sins,
Looking back, even knowing the motives behind my decisions and justifying to myself that I was making choices designed around Gods word,
Acknowledging this fact, this truth, and sharing it with the world is one of most difficult things I have done thus far. By confessing this I discredit myself to those who knew me most of my life. I am sure I will be labeled, judged, and tossed aside like yesterdays news, because that is how it is.
Through much tribulation and deliberation and wrestling with myself and Gods word, I have concluded this, and it has scraped and scoured like steel wool painfully all the way down.
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
This is becoming more apparent to me as I study Scripture. Learning to put away what I have been taught previously is difficult. How I interpreted the Word of God with what knowledge I have now, and always looking forward, The Holy Spirit has opened my eyes to this truth.
Genesis 19:26
Don't turn back.
Matthew 24:17
Mark 13:15
Luke 17:31
Don't flirt with the notion of dabbling in what you were called out of.
Isaiah 37:27
I must always consider that what I have previously believed, may not be correct.
Matthew 10:27
Jesus spoke of this in His parables to the masses.
Matthew 13 gives a clear picture of the 4 types of people there are in this world, through the ages, and into the future. Only four. No more, no less. No mix of anything.
The rest have fooled themselves, and are fools for thinking they are neutral, and safe from the wrath of God in their choices because they believe in Jesus Christ.
Grace or Not-Grace.
Kingdom of Man, or Kingdom of God.
2-Sown along rocky ground. These are people following a historic faith they can relate to in others lives. When something goes wrong, the word of God is ineffective, and leads to these people falling away from the truth, and taking matters into their own hands, etc. Fools by their own arrogance.
3-Sown among the thorns. These are the most common people. The expression of the word is falsified to make the hearers happier. The presentation of the truth is false. Scripture is marred to suit the purpose of the one teaching it. Fooled by their own arrogance.
4-Sown on good soil, producing fruit, in various measures. Regenerate Believer.
The ESV has 177 verses containing the word fool.
Seems it's a human thing.
And being human I was the biggest fool.
I wore a large number 2 for many of the years I claimed to follow Christ.
In those years I was baptized, publicly declaring my zeal for Jesus!
And I really thought my life belonged to God.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction.
I can not express with mere words the thankfulness that has taken root in my heart to be taught this. That the Holy Spirit is continually cultivating me in my knowledge and obedience to His word. I was never that interested in memorizing scripture, but I am glad that my mother made me when I was young. I am glad that I was raised with the biblical knowledge of God.
The desire to obtain knowledge is increasing, but only to humbly apply to my life and the life of my family.
Romans 12:22
Do not be conformed to this world, [1] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. [2]
Even as a number 2, I look back and see God working, bringing me along and allowing me to experience things that will help me in the future. If I had been converted before I was supposed to be, I am sure I would have become quite self righteous, and I would not have hung around the people I did, thus, not having the opportunity to witness the contrast between a converted soul and an unconverted one. I didn't grow up with much contrast because everyone around me was saved, or at least claimed to be, so I am thankful for the parallel God showed me as He changed me.
I am in a process, as are you.
I can not rush it, nor can you.
If you have confessed that Jesus is Lord of your life, take a look at what you said.
Where is your proof that God is the one at the center of your life?
Where is your proof that above all else what God commands is at the forefront of all you do?
I was raised in a God fearing home. We were taught from Gods word since I can remember. I saw what Christianity looked like, and I imitated it well. I fooled myself, I fooled people around me, but I did not fool God.
His Plan.
His purpose.
His glory.
I have certainty now.
I belong to Gods chosen people, because having the truth of who I was and who I am now is very painful to acknowledge, but seeing it I have been blessed beyond measure.
I have peace with my Creator through Jesus Christ and His precious blood, and I am secure in His hand. I know for whom my life should be lived. I will work happily, sacrificing daily, knowing that Jesus is the one who gives me the strength to do so.
The toil of a fool wearies him,
for he does not know the way to the city.
Be glad, for the way is hard.
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