Who Are you?

A question like this can be loaded.

When you wake up in the morning, do you like what you see in the mirror?  Do you spend a certain amount of time improving on your outward appearance, or do you hardly ever run a comb through your locks?  Admittedly, being in the beauty industry for so long, I have a habit of making myself a bit more than presentable most days.  And then there are days like today where it's 12:25 in the afternoon and I'm still wearing my pajamas.  However, for the most part, I like to be pretty so that if someone comes to the door, or when my husband comes home, how I look isn't a tell on how my day has been.  This is part of my heart service, for my spouse.  Oh, he's seen me at the end of my day wearing jogging pants and a tee-shirt, and he still thinks I'm extremely cute, but then I feel like he's not taking my words seriously and rolling his eyes inwardly when I say I had a great day.

"Yeah, sure hon, if you say so.  What kind of punishment should we dole out?"

Being a hairstylist I like to experiment with trends every year, and this year I let my friend take my hair extremely short in a faux hawk (hotness) and did some foils of brown and red in the front.  (punked out!)  I love how easy it is to style,  I love how I look, and I love standing out from the crowd, even when I'm wearing pj's.

Of course, how we look on the outside is not important, (as long as we look decent, and dress for our body type and age....) because it's the inner spiritual person who needs time and nourishment that only God can supply, and that does take time.  Unlike throwing hair up into a ponytail, or wearing a snappy cap, sitting down and devouring The Word is delicious and necessary for daily growth if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with Jesus Christ.  Such a wonderful supplement daily added to a weekly feast and how thankful I am that I can do it while sitting outside without worrying whether a bullet will shatter my world because I am a Christian.

If you prefer labels, sometimes that's easier while you're introducing yourself to someone new.  I personally don't like labels, never have.  I've been accused of being a Hyper-Calvinist....and without really knowing what that meant I accepted that opinion with humble reflection.  After careful study of the article I shared among others, I've changed my approach, somewhat, when responding to this denunciation.  It's a work in progress, so if I come off as a half-crazed Bible thumper please forgive me.  I know not what I do most of the time.

What I believe, is that we are responsible for our actions.  We are responsible to read Gods word and follow what it says despite our preferred lifestyle choices.  If we read something we don't understand, it's not wise to forget about it.  It is wise to seek someone who God has called to teach, such as your Pastor, or one of the Elders at the local Church God has placed you in.  If you are a child, then naturally you would ask your parents, but once grown, it is vital to leave and cleave baby, even if your parents possess a wealth of knowledge.

I believe in the local Church, The Lord calls people to gather, and that to partake of communion one must be a member of that Church.  Oh yeah, that has ruffled more than a few feathers.  I believe the Church is made up of a group of people, with specific gifts, and we are to put those gifts into play to help the whole.  Some are gifted to teach, while others are gifted to tell the truth no matter what.  I wasn't called to teach, but I make awesome gluten free communion bread.  Christ is always the head of the Church, no supplementing there.

I practice believers baptism, that sprinkling a child with water will no more save them from the wrath of God than me dying for them.

I believe that Salvation is through Christ Alone.  Nothing I do, even being obedient to Gods word, will save me unless I belong to the Elect.  So of course I believe in predestination.  So so so cool.

If we believe the bible, than what it says must be true.  There is no exceptions.  We can't just skim over the surface, and feel good about it if we hope to have any depth in our life.  I don't know about you, but I like constant truth.  I enjoy knowing all the facts,  and given the ability question it, all the while understanding that my learning and application will continue forever.  I am content with my knowledge I have so far because I know God has been using the means He laid out to teach me for His glory and my repentance.  It's a discipline to remember to focus on His word, where He has me, and who I should be this day.  I'll always be me, but a better, kinder, softer, more loving Christ-like version of me as long as I lean on The Lord to do it.   Oh would that day be here last year!  My heart would not have carried this sadness if I was ahead of where my Creator has me.

I was reading Ecclesiastes today.  I recommend it highly, what an encouraging and blunt book.  I will embrace the author when I meet him.  I find I have the same thoughts.  When I'm out and about, looking at the people scurrying by, driving in their cars, playing with their cell phones, I think, who are you?  Do you know God?  Do you know everything you strive for is just going to burn?  What is more important, that faster, newer item, or real live people?  What is more essential?  Relationships that are built upon love and tolerance or built upon a saran-wrapped heart? That's why, if I remain in my pajamas but I have succeeded in sparking curiosity in my kids, I am content.

It's hard to ask for forgiveness, to admit that I am wrong, and it's likely that others feel the same way.  Asking forgiveness and not having the offense forgiven is worse than a punch in the face.  I'd much rather have my skull caved in than have a person stay mad at me.  Those who know me use this tact a lot.  However, now my conscience is clear, I have no worries, I have tried my best to put forth my hand in peace.  I pray that the icy-grip of self will melt, and all will be forgotten.  Why continue to punish someone when Christ already paid for it?  If you continue to hold on to the hurt, the pain, the frustration are you not demanding Jesus climb back up and let you re-nail his hands and feet?

Who are you to demand such from God when He has forgiven you so much?